in therapy my therapist and i were talking about my own feelings of self worth in relationships. and she asked me to say qualities about myself that someone else would be attracted to, on a romantic and platonic level. so i named some things like compassionate, empathetic, etc. and she said “you named things that you can give someone. ways you can serve, rather than ways that you are” and y'all..my mind was blown that’s gonna stick with me forever like she then proceed to tell me actual innate qualities about myself that she liked and thought anyone else would like as well and i hadn’t even considered those because like she said i was focused on things i could do outwardly to attract and maintain connections rather than who i was as a person..goddamn!!! thats tea!!!
With this in mind, this also makes me think of the ways people describe us. When people say the reasons that they love/like you or describe you as a person, are they only naming ways that you serve them? Are they equating your worth with how much you do for them?
ex. “You’re such a good listener. You’re so generous, you’re so compassionate. You’re always there for me. You always hold me down. You’re reliable”
vs.
“You’re so funny! You’re very vibrant. You’re creative, passionate, and intelligent. You’re optimistic. You’re so talented at ____” , etc. I think that’s very telling.
This FUCKED relationships up too because once this hit me, I realized people can just be in love with the way you make them feel instead of who you actually are. ALWAYS pay attention to the last little “vs” but there because it IS super telling
any group of children between ages 7 and 14 will, if left unattended for over 40 seconds, begin to form weird cults
seriously you go into another room to get a band-aid and you come back to find a quartet of ten year-olds prostrating themselves around a dirty baby sock they found on the floor and chanting “speak to us, master” and that’s just life
I am a teacher and my students formed an unhealthy obsession with a can of unopened sprite I had on my shelf. They called it their god. One day I found them holding rulers in the form of a cross singing Kumbaya, so I hid the Sprite as it was becoming a distraction. So the students made a change.org petition to find it.
i hate airpods dude id rather be broke than have two lil tiny things to keep track of. “oh there’s like a carrier” muh muh muh like i’ll remember the carrier when im barreling out of my door with the bus coming in 2 minutes. an airpod falls out and falls into a storm drain. i fling my head around to watch it fall and the other one flies out into the street and my bus crushes it. i scream in agony and run up to it and the bus just barrels straight over me bc bus drivers in chicago have 3 kill allowances a year
